Select Logo
Select Logo

BLINDCAST.NET

By: Humberto Rodriguez

Joke of the Day

COWS AND POLITICS

: DEMOCRAT:

: You have two cows.

: Your neighbor has none.

: You feel guilty for being successful.

: You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing

you to

: sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for

then

: take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.

: You feel righteous.

: Barbara Streisand sings for you.

:

: SOCIALIST:

: You have two cows.

: The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

: You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

:

: REPUBLICAN:

: You have two cows.

: Your neighbor has none.

: So?

:

: COMMUNIST:

: You have two cows.

: The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

: You wait in line for hours to get it.

: It is expensive and sour.

:

: CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:

: You have two cows.

: You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

:

: DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:

: You have two cows.

: The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to

support

: a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift

from

: your government.

:

: BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:

: You have two cows.

: The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays

you

: for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

:

: AMERICAN CORPORATION:

: You have two cows.

: You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd

one.

: You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.

: You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

: You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have

downsized and

: are reducing expenses.

: Your stock goes up.

:

: FRENCH CORPORATION:

: You have two cows.

: You go on strike because you want three cows.

: You go to lunch.

: Life is good.

:

: JAPANESE CORPORATION:

: You have two cows.

: You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary

cow and

: produce twenty times the milk.

: They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

: Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

:

: GERMAN CORPORATION:

: You have two cows.

: You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give

: excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

: Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

:

: ITALIAN CORPORATION:

: You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

: While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

: You break for lunch.

: Life is good.

:

: RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

: You have two cows.

: You count them and learn you have five cows.

: You have some more vodka.

: You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

: You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

: You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

: You produce your 10th five year plan in the last three months.

: The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really

have.

:

: TALIBAN CORPORATION:

: You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.

: You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's

private

: parts.

: Then you kill them and claim a U.S. bomb blew them up while they

were

: in the hospital.

:

: POLISH CORPORATION:

: You have two bulls.

: Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

:

: FLORIDA POLITICS:

: You have a black cow and a brown cow.

: Everyone votes for the best looking one.

: Some of the people who like the brown one best vote for the black

one.

: Some people vote for both.

: Some people vote for neither.

: Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

: Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the

: best-looking cow.

Thought of the Day

Ask not what you can do for your country; ask what your government is doing to you. 
-Joseph Sobran
About Contact Listserve Hosting Podcasting Radio streaming

Stay Informed

Join our low volume email list to keep abreast of developments and offers.